


Just Close Your Eyes

by Anxioushumanoidlizard



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Bad Coping Habits, Child Death, Childbirth, Crying, I'm crying, Jamie tries to forget, M/M, Mako is really bad at feelings, Not coping, Trans Male Character, it is me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 17:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9834410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anxioushumanoidlizard/pseuds/Anxioushumanoidlizard
Summary: About another hour later it was over, Jamie clinging to the little bundle and cried, he stroked the little ones’ face, her breath was weak and she hadn’t yet wailed.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, so I get sad ideas from time to time and sometimes I share them with you guys.
> 
> the title is from that one tailor swift song that I for some weird reason keep connecting to Junkrat

Jamie screamed, tears streamed down his face and all Mako could do was hold him and tell him to breath, to push. It was too early, even if he had been carrying for longer than he'd shown symptoms it was too early. They were nowhere near a hospital and the outback was too harsh for anyone to give birth without medical attention.

"Breathe, I can see the head," Mako let a hand stroke the other man’s stomach carefully whilst the other whipped tears from Jamie’s face.

About another hour later it was over, Jamie clinging to the little bundle and cried, he stroked the little ones’ face, her breath was weak and she hadn’t yet wailed. Mako was stroking his back, telling him he’d done a good job, his heart swelling with pride and a lump of fear in his stomach. He let them rest for a few days, when he thought they had rested as long as he felt was safe he lifted his partner and daughter into the sidecar and drove off. 

When they stopped for the night and Mako made up a fire he heard Jamie silently talking to the little girl “Niki, you’re gonna be big, like your dad,” he told her stories of their shenanigans, his eyes looking at her in wonder. They have made this, she is the fruit of their relationship, but she is still weak. She was three days old, she still hasn’t cried, her breath is still weak, and she had problems with finishing bottles.  


Mako made a makeshift bed for her; he watched as Jamie curled around her, he heard him whisper to her. He needed to get them both to a doctor and he needed to get them away from the country he destroyed.  
Two days later she closed her eyes for the last time, they were still too far away from civilization. 

Jamie looked at the little grave that held his biggest treasure, Mako had dug it deep enough so they knew no animals would get to her. Jamie called her Nicole, a name that stirred a distant memory of a smiling woman with a light blonde buzzcut, Mako called her Nikora in his mother tongue.  


They stayed for a week; Jamie told her everything he wanted to teach her, Mako sang her lullabies in his mother’s language.  


When Jamie slept Mako would ask for forgiveness, he'd been too hasty in moving them, should have known better. He should have given them enough time to rest.

When Mako slept, Jamie would ask for forgiveness, he should have been able to hold her until they came to a hospital, he should have done a better job protecting her. He Should have insisted on staying close to a town.  


A week later their supplies were running low and they had to leave, before they left, they masked the little grave so no one would disturb her. Mako watched as Jamie lay beside the little grave for the last time, his heart clenched when he heard the other man saying it was probably for the best.  


A month later they left the continent, leaving the last little light they had in a world of darkness.

 

Mako became more distant; he spent most days as a Roadhog now. He’d lost family before. He knew the days would be easier behind a mask, behind cruel acts. It became even easier when Jamie returned to his cackling self who never shut up, easier to shut him out, easier to forget.  
Some nights he’d look at Jamie’s sleeping form, wishing he’d forget as easy as Junkrat seemed to.  


Jamie would run his hand over his stomach some nights, wanting to tear it up and search for a sign that Nicole had been real, a sign that he and Roadhog had been real. If he tried to touch his bodyguard he’d be met with a snarl from the bigger man, cold shoulders and a blank mask.  


His name had begun to slip his memory; it had started with an M… or an N? He remembered a small face with eyes as dark as the night and even darker hair, a distant memory of soft words and soft kisses, a smile surrounded by silver. What was his name?  
Junkrat, he was Junkrat, he had radiation poisoning and he fabricated memories.

Roadhog looked over at the other man, Jamie was stroking his stomach again and he furrowed his brows “What are you doing?” Junkrat smiled and looked at him, yellow eyes wild “I had a dream I was big, almost as big as you,” he cackled “Can you imagine? I think there was something moving in there too,”  
Mako looked away; she’d be one year today.

The Overwatch headquarters was quiet; Hanna and Lucio were talking while Junkrat listened intently. Roadhog sat in a chair, reading a book while holding an eye on the smaller man, he didn’t trust these people. Hanna asked Junkrat what it was like growing up in the outback, he told her with big hand gestures, all smiles and manic laughs.  


“I wouldn’t have wished that on a child,” the laughter died out and when Mako looked up he was met with tear filled orange eyes, a sad smile on the usually cheerful face “Ain’t that right, Roadie?”  
Jamie excused himself and went to his room, Mako followed him.

“Of course I didn’t forget my own fucking CHILD,” Jamie threw whatever he was tinkering with, it crashed somewhere behind Mako’s head. He started pacing, a hand placed on his stomach searching for a long gone bump “Fer fucks sake, mate,” he stopped the pacing and pressed an accusing finger on Roadhogs chest, “You shut me out, pretended she never existed. What was I supposed to do?” he replaced the finger with a fist.  


Mako let him, let him pour two years of confusion and frustration out on him, “And then you wouldn’t touch me, I needed you,” Jamie’s voice broke, he stood with both his fists on Mako’s chest, hot angry tears falling from his eyes. He flinched when he heard the mask hit the floor, but he didn’t look up. He accepted the hug.  


“I’m sorry,” at that he looked up, orange eyes met black. Jamison stepped out of the hug and they stared for a while, then Jamie’s metal hand connected with Mako’s jaw.  


After a small fight consisting of Mako mostly protecting places where Jamie’s metal arm could make serious damage, they sat on the floor and talked.  
She’d be two today.


End file.
